An examination for the consciousness, one that x-rays our thinking, requires that we pay close attention to the thoughts upon which we choose to act. Employing thoughts that manifest health, joy, love and only good while refusing to entertain destructive ones, demands regular practice in order for excellent mental health to be reached.
More often than not, it seems easier to douse the below par thoughts with anesthetics of some kind, keeping them suppressed because the interior walls of consciousness seem to be too big to take down or too high to overcome. This oftentimes leads us to believe that it’s easier to continue to impersonate the prevaricator and harbor our heart’s desires. We become very good at lying even though we try to convince ourselves and others – especially others – that we are telling the truth; however, somewhere in the deep realms of consciousness we’re aware of the fiction that we’ve been projecting in hopes of diverting ourselves from the fate we seem to have been assigned. Eventually, we feel stuck because the idea of change appears to be unreachable. The weight and burdens of the millstone keep us from flight and manifest in most challenging ways.
I realize that being true to ourselves seems precarious, but the truth remains that the longer we wait to check our thoughts that lead to the unhealthy choices we make, the harder it seems to heal the adverse results. Choosing relationships, careers, where to live and everything else in between, will affect our peace of mind. So the question arises, why do we choose poorly? Maybe because we have a need to please others!
In order to heal this “disease to please” much courage, tenacity and strength are required. In fact, these three qualities need to be proportionate, one to the other, so one doesn’t take on this endeavor without wisdom or with blind courage.
The need to please others has led many into unhealthy relationships, and though we may even know that we need to forfeit them in order to regain health, we’re unwilling to let go of them due to the many fears that plague us of what letting go will lead to. The thoughts of letting go and moving on are oftentimes much harder to bear than remaining where you are.
Thoughts rise up in consciousness that if we change our minds and desire a higher road, a different journey, then we leave ourselves open to be harshly judged. Even the possibility of being cast out of our own families is at risk when we become true to ourselves. But it seems to me that the liabilities are far greater when we live to please others and continue to fake our own happiness.
Abraham Lincoln said, “It is my ambition and desire to so administer the affairs of the government while I remain president that if at the end I have lost every other friend on earth I shall at least have one friend remaining and that one shall be down inside me.”
We have a right, a right given to us by God, to be free from the fetters that incarcerate our hearts and remand our talents. But the tool needed to break these chains begins with challenging the fears that argues to us and taking gentle steps towards intrepidity.
Beyond the present horizon from which you stand are many opportunities waiting to be experienced, but mediocrity and undistinguished hearts will always yearn for greatness, even if one tries to keep it hidden from oneself.
Below is a list of some general questions I asked myself when I first took on this task of self-examination. I’ve found that it keeps me honest, not only with others, but most importantly with myself. I hope it will do the same for you!
- Am I happy?
- If so, why and if not, why not?
- What am I planning to do about my happiness?
- Am I in a healthy and fruitful relationship?
- If not, why do I stay?
- Do I love my job/career?
- If not, why am I doing it?
- Do I love myself?
- If not, why not?
- Do I feel as though I’m worthy of being loved by others?
- Am I a liar?
- If so, why?
- Have I lied on any of my answers?
- If so, why?
If you answered honestly to those questions, you should be able to discover what needs to be handled and healed. If you feel as though you cannot do this by yourself, there are many ways of reaching out to get the help you need. You deserve to be free from those mental fetters!
Change isn’t easy, but often very necessary and eventually, unavoidable!